Jace the Bacon Slayer
by CookieMonsterWillRuleTheWorld
Summary: What goes on in Jace's head in science when he get's bored...
1. Chapter 1

Nooooo. Hieosthgiosehiogsehgiosekl i don't like periodic table :(

kaBLUBY

*OH NOES! THE BACON IS COMING TO GET ME!*

*dies from descending bacon*

*om nom nom nom*

Says bacon

*rrrrrrrrrrrrrr I'm dead. :( *

*CLARY SAVE ME THE BACON IS KILLING ME!*

*no. The bacons are my friends.*

*they're MY friends too.*

*but the bacons is KILLING YOU!*

*ya i no but they sooooo delicious*

*mmm. You have a point there.*

*I HAVE MY REVENGE ON THE BACONS!*

*yeah! Kt the bacon slayer!*

*WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!*

*stab stab stabbety stab stab STAB with ma ninja sword*

*DIE BACON DIE*

*slaying bacon all day is hard work. Do you have any dettol?*


	2. Chapter 2

*take THAT! And THAT! BACON!*

*rrrrrrrrrrr, oh noes! My bacon self is dying*

*HAHA! Ima eat you for breakfast!*

*rrrrrrrrrrrrrr!*

*haha! Well, now that that bacon is dead...*

*army of bacon soldiers comes into view across horizon*

*AAAHHH! OH NOES! I DIE OF BACON DEATH!*

*bacon leader comes into view.*

*Does that leader bacon have a hitler moustache?*

*AAAHHHHH! HITLER BACON!*

*bacon army does hitler salute*

*I must now make my ninja bacon escape...*

*close up of hitler bacon's eyes...*

*close up of Jace the bacon slayer's eyes...*

*hitler bacon's moustache twitches...*

*RAAAAAAAA!*

*Jace the bacon slayer ninja whips out a giant frying pan*

*WOOOOOOOOOOO! You bacons don't stand a chance!*

*Jace the bacon slayer kills nazi bacon army with giant frying pan*

*YAY! Jace the bacon slayer triumphs again!*

*Now i can go on my holiday to hawaii! There be no bacon there! The bacons die in the heat!*


	3. Chapter 3

*In hawaii. Hawaii music plays.*

*Ahhhhh... The anti-bacon hawaii islands is sooooo relaxing.*

*gurgle noise*

*GASP! What was that?*

*gurgle noise again*

*bacon with a fish tail majestically rises out of the water*

*GASP! It's a MER-BACON!*

*gurgle gurgle... You insignificant humans have hunted us mer-bacon for many, many moons... Now it is time for the mer-bacon to have their revenge!*

*about 10 other mer-bacon pop up out of the water*

*(mer-bacon chanting) kill the human, kill the human, kill the human...*

*YOU MESSIN' WITH THE WRONG BACON SLAYER, HONEY!*

*(leader mer-bacon) No, he can't be, a bacons slayer!*

*THAT'S RIGHT, FOOL! RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!*

*(mer-bacon chanting) swim away! Swim away!

*Pft, those mer-bacon are stupid fat wimps.*

*throws giant pineapple bomb in direction that mer-bacon swam away*

*KABOOM!*

*dead mer-bacon all float to the surface*

*Ha ha, that should take care of that!

*:)*

**Jace is so bored aye=] haha=] check out my other story, if things had been different. It's nothing like this, I was high on caffeine when I wrote this but the other story is serious, but it's awesome so go check it out please=] Review?**


	4. Chapter 4

*LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA*

*singing in da showa*

*aaaaahhhh, showa sooo nice after all that bacon slaying.*

*LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA*

*BANG!*

*!*

*really FAT piece of bacon knocks down bathroom door*

*OH NOES! I EXPOSED to da bacons!*

*EEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPP!*

*fat bacon pulls out a gun*

*GIVE ME YOUR RUBBER DUCKY, AND NO-ONE GETS HURTED!*

*NEVERS! Norman is MINE! RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!*

*fat bacon snatches Norman the rubber ducky off Jace the bacon slayer*

*NOOOOOOOOO! NORMAN!*

*MWA HA HA HA!*

*fat bacon draws moustache on Norman with a sharpie *

*RRRRRRRR! YOU VANDALISEDED MY NORMAN! RRRRRRRRR! *

*Too bad! That sharpie is PERMANENT! MWA HA HA HA!*

*or is it?*

*fat bacon CONFUSED*

*Too bad we're in a BATHROOM, full of SOAP and WATER!*

*OH NOES!*

*Jace the bacon slayer goes all ninja-kick-ass on fat bacon, and while doing that, be's even MORE awesome and washes moustache off Norman!*

*NOOOO! Sharpie! You FAILED ME!*

*fat bacon blubbering on the ground*

*YAY fo NORMAN!*


	5. Chapter 5

*sitting in science class*

*teacher-BLAH BLAH BLAH MAGNESIUM BLAH BLAH SODIUM CHLORIDE BLAH BLAH BLAH...*

*ugh. This teacher is EVIL.*

*BLAH BLAH BLAH LITHIUM NITRATE BLAH BLAH CHRONIUM HYDROXIDE...*

*i cant take dis ani longa...something must be done...*

*BLAH BLAH BLAH AMMONIUM CARBONATE BLAH BLAH BLAH CALCIUM SULFATE... YOU SHALL SUFFER WITH CHEMISTRY FOR THE REST OF YOUR MISERABLE LIVES! MWA HA HA HA!*

*OH NOES!... Do i smells bacon? It's coming from... DA TEACHER!*

*yes, i would no dat smell anywhere*

*blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah...*

*OH NOES! HE AN EVIL BACON! AAAAAA!*

*(standing on table) I NO WOT YOU REALLY ARE!*

*disguised bacon teacher sweating nervously, but dat only making the bacon smell stronga...*

*ummm, errr, i don no wot you're talking about!*

*shifty eyes*

*Your not really a teacher, are you? You a BACON!*

*ummmmmmm, of course not? Wot gives you dat idea?*

*you smells like BACON! Explain DAT!*

*uuummmm, errrrr, uuummmm... I likes to cook bacon in my pants?*

*!*

*Jace the bacon slayer tackles disguised bacon teacher to the ground, and pulls off mask, revealing a BACON!*

*NOOOOOOO! You have discovered ma tru identity...*

*bacon starts crying and runs out of da classroom*

*YYEEEAAAHHH! I have bacon fo dinners!*

*(rest of kids in class) WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!*


End file.
